Happy Pocketz

People forget that there are many free foods just waiting for the picking, literally- blackberries, sloes, balluces, elder flowers and berries, not to mention a wide range of nuts, can all be found in British hedgerows. Below are a couple of quick dessert recipes which would be great after a BBQ and so simple to make.

Elderflower fritters
1 egg (separated)
50g plain flour
100ml milk
Good bunch of elderflowers picked from stems

Whisk egg yolk, flour and milk together and leave to stand for about half an hour. Whisk the egg white to form stiff peaks and fold into the batter. Chuck in the elderflowers and fry spoonfuls of the mixture in vegetable oil. Really tasty with vanilla or honeycomb ice-cream or honey and Greek yoghurt.

Blackberry Eton mess
4 readymade meringue nests crushed (not to a powder!)
Couple tablespoons lemon curd
Big pot of double or whipping cream (whipped to form soft peaks)
4 good handfuls blackberries (save some to garnish)

In a large bowl combine all the ingredients. Don’t completely mix in the lemon curd as you’ll lose the rippled affect. Crush some of the blackberries so they bleed a little and make the mix look pretty! Spoon into bowls or serving glasses, decorate with leftover blackberries (if you’re feeling really posh, you could add a little lemon zest too!) and keep in the fridge until ready to serve.

I’m not going to lie – I find the word “recipe” slightly daunting. I refrain from doing so much as heating up a tin of soup. In short, I HATE cooking. I’m not exactly sure why since I’m not exactly bad at it and I enjoy the end result, but something about getting in the kitchen terrifies me.
There are times, however, when even I have to make a meal. Maybe my partner is away or my mother is visit, or maybe I’m just tired of cheese and crackers.
The good news is I’ve stockpiled a range of recipes that are simple, impressive and can be made for less than a tenner.
I’m not even going to use words like “sauté” or give exact measurements of ingredients. And if you’re still daunted, don’t think of this as a recipe – think f it as instructions for Swedish flat-pack furniture.
Better?

Shepard’s pie
Dead easy, wholesome and perfect for those long winter evenings, Shepard’s pie has to be one of my all-time favourites. I put horseradish in my mash, but you can leave it out if you’re not a fan.

Ingredients

For the mash:
5-6 medium sized potatoes
Generous dollop of horseradish (about two tablespoons should do it, add more or less depending on taste)
Plenty of margarine (a couple of knobs should be fine, slightly less if using milk)
A splash of milk (optional)
Salt & pepper to taste

For the filling:
1-2 cups of Quorn mince
1-2 lamb stock cubes
Rosemary or mixed herbs
3-4 medium sized carrots, sliced
1-2 cups of mushrooms, washed & sliced
Splash of Lea & Perrins
1/2 cup frozen peas
Salt & pepper to taste

Method

Peel & chop (or wash & chop if, like me, you like skins in your mash) the potatoes and carrots. Place the potatoes in a pan of boiling water. Boil on the hob for about 10 minutes and then, if you’re lucky enough to have a steamer that fits on top of your pans, place the chopped carrots in it. Boil for another 10 minutes. If you don’t have a steamer, you can boil the carrots in a separate pan until they’re just soft.

Whilst boiling your potatoes, chop the onion and mushrooms, and place them in an oven dish along with the frozen peas and Quorn mince (I only use Quorn because you can use it straight from frozen. If using lamb, remember to cook off in a pan first). Crumble the stock cubes over the top and add the mixed herbs and Lea & Perrins. If you like your Shepard’s pie runny, add about a quarter of a cup of water. When the carrots are ready, take them off the heat, drain them if they were boiled, and add to the oven dish. Mix the whole thing well.

Drain the potatoes and add the margarine and milk (if using) to the pan. (Milk isn’t essential, but gives the mash a creamier taste.) If you’re using horseradish, add it now. Mash the whole thing up until it’s the consitancy you like. (If I’ve peeled my potatoes first, I like my mash really, really smooth. My partner insists it must have lumps.)

Spread the mash over the top of the filling and place in an oven (heated to about 180 degrees) for about half an hour.

(Optional: a handful of cheese and a couple of minutes under the grill really finishes this off)

Simple.

Next time- Thai Green Curry (easier than it sounds) and Eaton Mess.

GROW YOUR OWN VEG! You don’t need acres to grew a few salad leaves or tomatoes- a window box will do!



Here’s a quick tip- blitz any leftover or stale bread and store the crumbs in the freezer- really handy!



Nasty stain on the carpet? Don’t use the sprays as they can bleach it- try a babywipe.



Both honey and salt have excellent anticeptic qualities...combine together and use as a body scrub.



I hate smeary windows and find that the brought sprays leave smeary marks. Next time you have an empty spray bottle fill with water and use instead of window cleaner, dry with a clean towel, cloth or even just kitchen roll. The results are great!

Can’t afford the gym at the moment but wanting to lose a few pounds? Well...clean! Housecleaning is VERY good exorcise and a cheap way to tone up! Why not get a housekeeping job for a few hours a week- tone up and get paid for it!

Bonjour!
Bonjour, Ello, How are you?
I’m the Français chef Pierre,
I will cook you dinner
Come come! Please sit! The chair!

Madam here es the menu
Regarder! Look! You see!
Now this is cooked with petits pois
In English? You call the pea!

Now to start a coffee?
A snack; the chocolat pain?
Or maybe you like the savoury,
Ah! You like the tart tatin!

The soup today – Magnifique!
With leek and pomme de terre
Monsieur you like the fishy?
Please try Moules marinière!

Moi will cook you anything.
I’m le mieux chef in this town!
You must try my tasty dish,
I make you smile and you no frown!

Just playing around! By Charlotte Compton

It is a satisfied feeling when a gardener gets to sample the first of their summer produce; the salad bowl will be carefully passed around the dinner table with as much pride and precision as a father steering his sleeping new born around the maternity ward.

And why not? After all each of those dazzling home grown treasures have been nurtured from seed, scanned daily for aphids, frost damage and disease. It is a full time job tending an allotment.

I started out with a plot 3ft by 6ft with the intension of growing a few herbs and salad leaves. But as anyone who is acquainted with a veggie gardener will tell you; we become greedy and...sneaky! Somehow I have managed to ‘acquire’ three herb gardens, an 8ft by 10ft plot, a cold frame, various pots and containers, the spare room for raising seedlings and the conservatory which resembles a tropical rain forest in the height of summer!

Unfortunately for those around us it becomes an addiction, an obsession even; people who do not have a competitive bone in their bodies suddenly find themselves surreptitiously surveying the neighbours’ gardens to insure they still have the best row of onions on the street. Although we may smile sweetly and comment on how nice next door’s courgettes are looking this year, our subconscious is scanning the garden shed for the shears!

We become berserk, merciless and over protective individuals, to the extent that when confronted by an overexcited daughter grasping a very plump slug and exclaiming “Mummy look what I’ve found!”
All we can think about is snatching the contented creature and hurling it down the toilet! For fear it may climb down the over excited daughter, slither up the garden path, through the mine field of pellets and traps and into the adored lettuces.

Gathering sanity and smiling, we say very calmly something along the lines of;
“Well isn’t he lovely darling, why don’t you pop him next door on Mr Rose’s garden?” Ignoring the looks of horror and disgust on both husband’s and daughter’s faces.

The months May through to August become a silent war zone of plotting, scheming and strategy with everyone a potential enemy. Mid May will bear the ‘Battle of the Beans’ in which gardeners will compete to build the tallest bamboo frame for their runners or berlotties and will seriously consider the most devious form of sabotage on the ones next door!

June will be exposed to the ‘Sweetpea Sickness’ during which enthusiasts can be seen covering every inch of the house in the boldest, strongest smelling blooms they can muster. Too bad if the children have allergies-there’s always Piriton!

To your families’ obvious delight and covert relief there always seems to be a slight lull during July, a calm before the storm. This is partly because we are waiting for the second batch of seedlings to nervously appear and partly because of all the summer fates you find yourself attending. During which you will converse politely with the neighbours over a very warm glass of wine and the promise to swap unusual vegetable plants. Unfortunately the green fingered devil in you is screaming “over my dead body!” as you vigorously try to swallow down a mouthful of very burnt hotdog! Thank goodness all you can do is smile as chew!

But behold, August the bringer of harvest is on its way; every seed sown and packet read will be for this moment. Foes become friends as you all proudly stand, fork in hand around the abundant produce and a knowing look it shared, a look of contentment and fulfilment. All harsh thought will be forgotten and edible peace offerings (that at one point you were trying to train your son’s puppy to urinate over) will be distributed and discussed excitedly. Yet, through the joy will be an underlying remorse as everyone will be too aware that the season is nearly over and it won’t be long before they will be staring bleakly out of the window praying for next years beloved chaos!
So if your friend, wife or husband is a keen gardener, and you want to earn a few brownie points, always say yes to a second plateful of salad, accept the dirty bunch of parsnips (even if you hate them with a passion) and enjoy the hundredth tour around the allotment. For come the winter months, they will seem as glum and empty as their plots and containers and remember ‘Human beings, vegetables or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player.’ (Albert Einstein).

Things aren’t well with your lover. You need to impress but you don’t have much money! No problem!
If you know where to shop and if you shop cheaper, you can cook all this for at least 15pounds (not counting with drinks).
So instead of spending it in drinks with your mates, or shopping with your girls...take the time and the money to impress your love one with a Romantic dinner.
And I can guarantee this cheap meal will make your love and your pockets happy!


Starter: Seafood Paté

1 Pack of seafood sticks
1 Boiled egg
Mayo
Ketchup
Lemon
Beer (just if you have)

Chop the seafood sticks and the boiled egg together in really small bits. Mix it with Mayo, a little bit of Ketchup and some drops of lemon. If you have beer pour just a little bit into the mix, you don’t want it too liquid. Leave it in the fridge before serve.
On the time for the dinner serve it with some crackers or toasted bread.

P.S.: If you did too much and you have left over’s you can always use it to make some tasty sandwiches.


Main course: Meat a la Ana

This recipe is based on the Stroganoff one, but is slithy different and cheaper. Plus you can always change the name on the title for your one and it would definitely left your love one impressed!

Meat for 2 (Actually any meat is good. Just find the promotion of the day and you are done. Be sure that doesn’t have too many bones.)
1 pack of mushrooms
300ml of cream
2 cloves of garlic
Salt
Black Pepper
Oil
Butter
Mustard or Tomato Sauce/Ketchup or Cheese (just if you have it on your fridge)

If you have time marinate the meat the day before. Chop the 2 cloves of garlic and put at your taste some salt and black pepper. Cover it a leave it in the fridge.
Put a little bit of butter on the fry pan. While is getting hot chop your mushrooms, then put them on the pan with a little bit of salt and pepper. If you have some herbs you can add it too. When cooked put them in a plate.
Now put some oil in the pan (max. 1cm deep) and when hot add your meat. Let it be there until is cooked and when done add the mushrooms and mix them around. Reduce the temperature to a minimum and pour the cream (not all of it) and add a little of the Mustard or Tomato Sauce or Cheese. (For the cheese be sure is all melted and well mixed in the sauce).
Serve it with Pasta or Rice and salad.


Dessert: The 10 min chocolate mousse cake with ice cream

6eggs
300g of cooking chocolate bar
2 teacups of flour and sugar
1 teacup of milk
Butter
Ice-cream (Choose whatever you like!)

First off all turn on your oven (200 it would be enough).
Break the Chocolate bar into bits and put it on a bowl with a bit of butter, put it on the microwave and let it melt. (Be careful not to burn the chocolate) Put the egg, the melted chocolate, flour, sugar and milk in the mixing bowl and mix everything together until is all a chocolate colour.
Grab a tray that can go into the oven and butter it so the cake won’t stick. Pour your mix on the tray and put it in the oven. Depending on the oven 10min is enough. But be sure you check it time to time so the inside doesn’t cook. You want to have the outside of the cake cooked but a mousse inside.
When done cut a slice and serve it with a scoop of ice cream.


And that’s it...now you just need to enjoy!